Panic

There are three moments in my life (in recent memory) when I have felt complete and utter panic--my brain shuts down (along with all practical thought) and my emotions take lead--usually run by fear (not always the best for problem solving).

The other night we went out to dinner and then to Sam's Club. The place was super crowded and I was a little tired and not feeling too well, so it was all I could do to walk that huge place with my wild children running all over. Matt and I split up, he took the kids because he always seems to have more energy than I do (especially these days), and I stood in the biggest line ever to check out.

I guess the kids decided they wanted to come back to me--so Matt sent them my way. Ray found her way back, but somehow Jackson made a wrong turn and got lost in the huge crowd of people. When Matt came back a couple of minutes later, without Jackson, that is when panic set in. Matt took off while I waited with Reagan (who happened to be screaming, of course) and I watched him as he moved around through a few aisles, then went to check the bathroom, and still didn't have him. That is when I almost started crying!

I picked up Ray and took off running towards the back of the store--it was a funny sight--this panicked, pregnant woman with a screaming kid on her hip, yelling for Jackson (I am embarrassed to even think about it now). My mind started flashing visions of Jackson being kidnapped and me never seeing him again (why does logic always fail me when I most need it??)--and Matt still hadn't found Jackson. I went to get some help from some of the employees and instead of saying "My son is lost, can you help me", I said "I think someone took my son" (my imagination had somehow taken over my mouth) and everyone looked at me like I was crazy (because I was).

To make this super long story end, My level-headed husband located Jackson, who was screaming his head off, and I just went running over to him, hugged him, and cried (with everyone looking at me). Hopefully everyone saw that I was pregnant and that gave me my excuse to act so crazy. Although only a ten minute ordeal, I can't believe that we all came out of it relatively ok (although three of the four of us were crying).

What lesson should I have learned from this? That I need to learn to keep my cool and not panic so that I can think clearly in these situations. What lesson did I learn from this? To never let Jackson out of my sight again!! Sometimes I don't learn as quickly as I should...